Should I Join the Gym?

I was talking to a friend here in my small Chinese town, and they mentioned the gym they had been going to for a couple of months. Listening to the description of the gym made it sound like it was sitting at the gates of Heaven, and you shared the juicebar with the angels. After a while, I asked the all important question, “How much.” She said, “$240 for a year, $350 for three years” (exchange rate included).
I started thinking, “I will be here more than three years, maybe I should start going to the gym. I could get in shape, and soon I will have the body of a Greek god, or at least a demigod.” I started walking through what it would be like if I actually did it, “I’ll go 6 days a week. I will work so hard my body won’t know how it became so fit, so quick. I’ll have a barrel chest (I hate the thought of having a six pack, yuck). My legs will be tree trunks, well they already are… I am really quite lucky with my legs and my calf muscles… where was I? Oh yah, I will go to the gym and get into great shape. I will be the best workouter who has ever worked out.”
I stayed pumped about the idea for about the same time I normally do, 45 seconds. Then I remembered, “If I get into shape, then I have to work to stay in shape. I don’t want to walk in place, lift weights, punch dumbbells, or walk the wrong way on an escalator to nowhere. I hate stairs when they take me places I want to be. I am happy with me. If I looked like a Greek god, then I would have to give up my favourite foods (junk food). I will become obsessed with every ounce of body fat I find.” I thought of plenty of reasons not to join the gym, but the one which made my decision for me was, “I don’t want to.” Absolutely nothing in me wants to join a gym for more than 45 seconds in my imagination. Given the choice between a six pack and chicken nuggets, I will take the 20 pack with extra BBQ sauce please.
I am not saying nobody should join the gym, but I will not be part of those who do. I know some of you are saying to yourself,

“Silly Shawn, if you join the gym, after a month or two of going you will love it.”
This is a good point you bring up. If I go to the gym consistently I will probably develop a habit of going, and be pretty healthy. I still don’t want to.

“Shawn, nothing tastes as good as thin feels”
Lies. I have tasted lots of foods, it is why I am not thin anymore. The whole journey to ‘not thin’ tasted great.

In conclusion, if I join the gym it will be a waste of $360. I will go twice, realize I hate it both times, say I don’t want to do this anymore, and eat a cake. I will be quite happy to skip directly to the cake.

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